Monday 25 July 2011

frivolous much?

i cant believe this. lawak pon ade.
today i got scolded by my sayangness 4 not being mad at all.
the thing is im not. i dont.not at all. seriously.
ive been called stoopid. na wat camane sy mmg stoopid bab2 nih.
i admit that.
for being a noob in a rship. sy x penah becinte oke? mmg lembab la kan. x tawu sane sni.
but it was a good lesson to take note of. i dun hv the right to judge people.
n im still holding to that despite o everything.
i dun hv the right to point out to anybody instead o myself.
i put the blame on me. dah sng.
they hv their own reason for doing wutever they wanted to do, or to cut the knot.
i respect that. n for that reason its up to ur own thinking to interpret things.
juz dun assume. pls. juz dun. as it is the mother to all fuck ups!
plz clarify. but if it cant be help, or refusal of clarification happens, nothing can be done la.
sume da besa. da pandai. blaja smpai lg setingkat je. boleyh beza kot orng na main2 ke hape. boleyh beza kot gurau2 or serious. as there's more to life, this is too frivolous to start a fight.
dah tu je. *peaaace*
:)

Sunday 24 July 2011

karma sure knows how to do its work

peringatan utk dri sniri:

dun ever blame others. n pls dun anticipate for bad happenings. once u did that, all the actions wont come out good as u know it wont. u choose it to be that way. nobody wish for bad things in between. so we try our best to avoid it.

now, at this particular entry, im relieved! relief for all the things that is meant for me. relief for everything. alhamdulillah for that. lapang dada kan? :) im gonna stop the planning. cancel everything out n juz enjoy wuts life had to offers me. and at the same time, im thinking of fulfilling abah's dream. *eh bru ckp x nk plan?* naaah. coz it is the best for me.

i dun lose anything. xde ape pon. xperience was a good teacher. w/o everything that had happened i wont had learnt anything. now i know everything is within ur ownself. n now i know wut is best for me. thanx for everything. ini ikhlas. nobody is perfect. i may want people sees me as perfect b4. but wut is perfect if u r suffering inside rite? xde gune. no one is perfect. pegang ni sampai maty. and pelis zaty jgn besa kepala sgt. nak hbt2 sgt pon ade lg raaamai lua sane yg lg hbt. hbt mane pon kaw zaty, xde gune kalo sume orng lari. hve some dignity oke. yupe, money is important but wut is more important is to be able to live a good life, loved by everyone around yet be a good servant of HIM :D

*::* may only all the good n success b w u wherever u r, doa saye utk awk smpai bile2*::*

Saturday 23 July 2011

Calar~

Oke. Ini entry sedeyh. Dah tapayah bace weyh.
It was supposed to b a blast. It was supposed to end up w a smile. But here I am. Outside. Alone. No idea y am here.

Never had I ever in my life broke into tears in front of anybody. I don't do that. I never did that. I have some sort of dignity to do that. As if I was the strongest girl on earth. But today, I can't help it. Juz by a question from my gfs today, right after we were out from the mcD, "kau oke kok ti?" I looked at her, n yeah I cried. Screw anybody passing by. I juz cried. I thought I was over it. But I guess am not.
I love u so much that I can't open my mouth but juz to stare at u. Betol, bak kate emir td, I dun want anybody else but her. Juz her. N that is how I feel. Juz u. Yeah u. N I'm officially lembik n stoopid. If it was meant to b dis way. Ya Allah, now I leave it up to u. Coz I hv no idea at all. Coz being a 1st timer in a r/ship, I seriously don't know anything at all. Skarang sy na idop saje. Bye.


Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

Friday 22 July 2011

blah.


this is wut happened when u lose ur mind.
i had swore b4 not to ever straighten ma hair.
but i guess, when ur heart is not straight enuff~ u straighten ur hair instead!
initially, i was thinking of pulling a rihanna- super- sleek- straight- bob's hairstyle, but the hairstylist refused to cut it short. syg katenye. hermm.
wutever.
now i look like a twin to budak kechik!
i dun care.
im fat. she's not.
tapayah twin sgt lah! :D
hp7 here i come!

Wednesday 20 July 2011

Bloody orange!

So this is wut I get once I reached home after work today. My bloody orange dress! *oke saye taw blkng tu besepah, so abaikan pls. * Hihi. Omg. PoplOok really did sent this within a day. Laju! :D im turning girlish each day. Wonder y? *tanda2 penuaan lg ke?* ouch!

Nvm. Another 2 days 2 go. Nex wk is super hectic. W rat race, bnm projct, plus nazir razak is coming too. N yeah it'll b ramadhan in a blink. N I'm missing u even more. Dis is wut people call madness. Even when u know its stoopid, its not worth it yet u juz dun wanna accept things! Kpala hotak ✗ function. Haty tapayah ckp la.

Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

Monday 18 July 2011

fix me

"u get in a relationship for better or for worse. this is the worse part.
the thing is there will be better parts. u shud go back,"
- grey to yang

"thats wut u shud be feeling, i took it all out for u. so u can be pissed w me, or at me. i dun care coz im going to stay through it all. im not goin anywhere christina. im not goin anywhere w/o u!"

-owen to yang

"yang: wud u love me if i wasnt a surgeon? owen: i wud love u if u were a plumber"

-oke. ni sweet gile

well said. n thats how i am atm.
im paralyzed. n i cant move.
the only one who has the tools to fix me is u.
oke bye.

july the 18th

awww~ HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUDAK!
syg kaw ketat2 la!
dem she's 20! my bb is now an adult!
how old can i possibly go?
sobs!



im getting weirder each day.
my eyes are swollen from who knows wut.
i dun sleep much these days.
insomniac ke? sort of.
n i dun eat much due to the lazyness too.
sgt lemaw n bosan!
im tired of fixing me.

from now on i pledge that never will i be a crybaby anymore!
i wasnt one b4~ n i shud not be 1 too.
the thing is outta control
if sumone doesnt want to
who r u to make it work.
spill everything out,
share every second of ur life w them
even if it was everything for u
but when it was only u who's been trying,
it'll juz....herm.
it takes two to tango
n its truth
yupe. its freakin true.
i dun mind learning tango again.
im here.
if i ever come across ur mind.
juz as u always do in mine.

dah bye!

Sunday 17 July 2011

lovely sistas

pose betajok- mane sotong tepong saye! ish! :p


hermm. dis weekend was juz another lepaking story.
full w unplanned xtvties.
the initial plan was: hp7. tido.mkn.n tidooooooo the whole weekend
but it turned out to: screw-harry-potter-i-need-the-beach-NOW! trip!
while we were on the road to watch the movie w the tix in hand,
i told the girls that senate's meeting result was out.
within a blink, they grabbed my baby b4 screeaaaaming out loud out of happiness that their name was in the convocation list!
n only when they were back to the state of conciousness again,
they realized that i actually drove the car to bagan instead!
:p
but yeah it was awesome! we ate like we havent eaten anything for thousand years.
strolled (or actually rolled) by the beach side till the next day.


the story doesnt end there.
the next day, jus as i finished my "nih yg aku suke duk sni ni, xde na jupe sape2" sntence,
kak siti was behind me!
:p there u go, a small reunion out of the blue.
kak liza: eh, makin chantek la awk.
kak siti: orng tgh bahagia nih
*oke ini tipoo sgt! sbb saye mcm meroyan adela*
:''(
that i went to cut my longest ever curly hair.
x pena kalo curl pnjang2 mcm tu.
dah xde sbb na simpan.
rs mcm na nanes je ms amoi tu potong

comel kan diorang? :p

when i was missing u so bad,
the time doesnt stop ticking,
so does my heart,
n i despise that.
the fact that LOTS r happening out there,
yet it feels like nothing.
n i despise that too!
when u dun even bother,
n im still a mess over here,
juz by missing u
yes. i despise that!

Thursday 14 July 2011

tsssk

Hey! Mourn-ning whoever-is-actually- reading- dis- crap! :p I'm driving n blogging atm. How cool is that! *cool kepala hotak kaw!* :p nvm. The traffic is killing! I'm late n I'm freaking out.

Juz as I'm driving. The thoughts of u come across my mind. *ermm penah ke ✗?* :s
Seriously, I wish there' s a rewind button in life. Juz like watching a movie on ur own tv. At least once. I'm prepare to delete the chasm btwn us n replay it all over again. I dun mind doin that. Iloveunthatjusit! :s

Oke. Bye.
Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

Wednesday 13 July 2011

heartquake

*google-ing while trying to look hot. definitely a total failure.*

OMG. its been a year since las ramadhan.
everything is starting all over again.
mothers, aunties, r picking up colours for eid.
mega sales shopping. jalan tar. sogo. u name it. they r everywhere.
ramadhan brings me back to those days in university.
despite of the ups n down of the biological clock, it was a time to remember.
we were occupied w the thesis n assignments to the extent that gsm seems like our home instead.
dun lemme start on the bazaar. *nyummy!*

today, its a different story.
ive lost interest on eid.
n mama cant stop asking what r we going to wear this year.
i dun care. thats wut i told her. im ok w anything.
thats when she went to my sis instead.
the thing is i jus dun care for anything atm.
besides lining up my thoughts back to normal.
which i wont b able to do it when the heart is empty.
seriously, its ridiculous when there's no reason for it.
i was the happiest.
whenever i know that there was always someone there for me.
n i dun simply accept anyone into my life.
be it friends or whoever.
boleyh kire gune jari.
despite of all the good things that has occur this year;
ive been super cool, :p *oke nih tipoo*
ive been at the highest level of intelligence that i cud possibly go
i went up levels of my own limits
ive done lots of new things
yet, when the base is deteriorates, good things can only remain as good things.
n thats how pathetic life has been.


*::*Ya Rabbi, only U knows everything
i did picked the ripest apple from the tree
indeed. it was. n still is.*::*

Monday 11 July 2011

never gonna leave dis bed :p

*buek*


*lapa oke?*

oke i need 45k now! i mean NOW!
sobs, its freaking pathetic, when there's a LOT to catch outside yet its beyond the length of ur arm. :( *walaopon rase2 tgn da panjang sgt da ni!*
xde rezeki. or u r meant to be here.
if its urs, itll come back later.
amiin.
x salah test market kot? eh?

*gamba perasan chantek satu* :p

missing u mcm neraka!

Saturday 9 July 2011

Going back to who I used to b.
Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

flirtation

*kitorng tuff oke?*


O.M.G
the urge of pembaziran is killing
people say, the more u earn the more u'll waste.
sadly, its true. *at least for me*
while im sweating like hell to build a saving tower,
these gadgets can't stop alluring me!
i mean theeeeeeese babies.

torch 9860 n bold 9900
T_T

needs n wants, which is more important syg?
simple, it's needs. :)
are these two babies considered as needs dear?
obviously not. X_X
so do i hve to splurge on these?
of course not. =_="
so.... the dilemma shud know how to finds it's own way back to the darkness.
macam mane nak kaye kalo da asek membazir?
jwb la sniri.
ok bye!

*::* nijuzcantstopthinkingofu*::*

Wednesday 6 July 2011

eee takot la~

boring oke tggu orng pilih handbag smpai sejam :s


entry muke ketat:
ergh. sudaaaaaaaaa la skit2~
sobs :"(
na tego pon tkot. na ckp pon takot kne lempangan invisible.
apetah lg nak menggedik mcm dlu2. wuuu~ *mcm da 5 thun x menggedik kot ni* T_T
bkn zaty la name nye kalo x menggedik.
sobs lagy!
padan la muke gedik sgt.
smpai orng pon mls na layan.
na ckp pon da tanak kan~
serabut~ pd hal mcm x wat pape pon
sobs lagy lagy!
ye i know im not suppose to be takot, instead it was more to takot tersebok dgn idop orng laen.
i respect u more than anyone else.
never had i put anyone there b4.
never oke.
rs mcm separoh maty tiap kali cube nasib tekan2 button send.
tp same je hasil.
x pe la~ sape la saye.
never mind me.
sobs lagy lagy lagy!



mommy, boleyh x nak2 tablets pc *ehemblackberryplaybookehem* as convo gift?
murah je kan compare dgn wsw tu!
eh tapayah convo sgt la nak bg skang pon x pe!:p

Tuesday 5 July 2011

ckap dgn bulan


life cud have been better. it was supposed to. it WAS before.
juz w the thought of u, used to lighten up my day. till now. it still works the same.
the thing is, u r glued there.
n im a lunatic to that extend. woohooo.
i deliriously bring myself to this moonstruck state juz to wander around for i have no where to go atm.
oke dah tu je. bye!