be urself! :D

assalamualaikum and hello world! :*

so here's the thing, mama's word of wisdom that i will never forget. she once told me this when i 1st started working, that u shud not get over headed of urself regardless of wut. be good. be lovable.

dun forget those people who r below u for wo them u wont b where u r today. 

"i was told b4 that im one of the head who didnt care much to went out for lunch n hangout w clerks. 

these people work for u n u have to be good to them for all the work they had done. it is not wrong at all. the ceo personally wants me go back to the bank n i still get calls from the clerks mengadu n mntak tnjuk aja even after 3 years of retirement",- mama.

those words, came acroos my  mind today, when i attended raya open house for our comp's business banking division. big customers were invited. all the front people who liase w them were there.i was there w the kakaks2. reaching there, i went off to find kak liza for the hugs n kissies after such a long time. it was then when i realized that few people was starring at me as if i had done wrong. that when i figured out, i was hugging n touching one of the important person for the department, that i actually chit chatted w people from the mother of banks. same thing goes when the ceo came beside me n we sembang a bit, the abangs was looking at me like i had kill a person and he is the only one who knows bout it. nk ckp dgn ceo pegi la ckp, motif nk tenung2. for me, he is also a human being, bkn nya god nk kna worship smpai nk putih muka menggigil bila dea lalu sebelah je kot. 

it hit me straight away. how they had been seeing me b4? a girl who doesnt talks much, doesnt mingle around, except with the kakaks n they treat me like the kakaks? seriously? i dun get this at all. stop judging!. doesnt mean that i dont talk much at the offce that outside i will never get to know this people. ada orng tu x seberapa pon tp sbb dea hangout dgn the so call famous person that the whole bank pon kenal, she got famous as well. for my case, my circle of person was the kakaks, so i was treated like the kakaks. x seda ke awk tu pangkat dgn saya sama je. nak buat mcm awk tu the owner of the bank. jgn nak buat ayat dea tu manager mcm mana awk knal? hoi kurang aja sgt. for the sake of learning i pretended that i know nothing coz i dont mind starting from a scratch. kakaks ni yg willing to teach not d belagak pandai. jgn nk besa kepala sgt! i choose who i wanna be with. but that doesnt allow me to judge others. same goes to everyone. muka cantek pkai hensem2 dah tapi? nvm juz be urself n try to be the best out of it. coz im still trying. letih la. orng busuk haty ni smpai bila x sng tgk orng. so yeah be urself n have the fun out of it. 

bye.

Sayang. ;D

Hello people who actually reads this. Hehe. :) eid is coming soon. Its so amazing how fast time flies. When i was juz having a hard time to actually get off the most comfortable bed on earth in my house for sahur, we only left a week to make full use of Ramadhan.

This year, unlike yesteryear, im sort of looking forward for eid. Not that i-cant-wait-to-put-up-my-all-brand-new-raya-apparel sort of excitement. Its the excitement to actually laaaaaay down like nobody else's business and to be there with my love ones after such a long time. Even though im here everyday w my tangkai haty, the jolly celebration is sumthing that i certainly cant wait. I wanna peloks everyone especially those lil kiddies n kiss em smpai sume muntah darah. U see, how my hormones are getting older too? Dlu tgk budak2 mcm mampoih p kt hang la, now rs mcm nk pgg xnk lpas2. -.-!

Nevertheless of everything, dis ramadhan definitely was a better one than last year. I was shattered to pieces yet today im back to myself. Hai la haty. Didnt notice it at all, until a gf whispered to me during our last iftar at kgpa that i looked more radiant n glowy from the last time we met. Beseri2 sgt apahal. Haha gune la clinique! Kompem cantik! ;p

Im blessed for having these people around. N i wont ask for more. They know me in and out. My loud n my silent side. Alhamdulillah for everything.
:) Growing old is mandatory. I wanna have a memorable n lovely lane of it.

Yes this raya im gonna miss u super hard! ;p

throwing tantrums

so as i predicted. the judging has been done. the criminal was charged guilty by the court. pffft. like seriously?? ive been blaming myself since forever! its the matter of being a respectful employee, trying hard to get the aura of the work place, to get a hold wut is goin on everywhere, not to annoyingly budging in, everything!!

this negative pressuring challenges is not good. not at all. yet ive endured everything silently. now being the usual heartless individual, nothing is acceptable to their eyes. as a noob, u shall act as a noob. dun try to stir things up. learn it the hard way. u, urself shall dig everything using wutever tools that u have. wut if u werent given any tools to start w? well u shall ask for it. as simple as that. blergh. its a fact that people will stop asking once they didnt get wut they want. 18x ty jwpn pon sama. u wont ask again for the 19th time.

my guards are down. people are getting so full of themselves. only they saw the fact which are contributing to their profits. for the past 25 years of living i havent learn a way to learn things wo guidance. every single thing shud have a proper way of doing it. nak jd artis kna p blaja vokal. kne p ty kt cekgu cemana nk nyanyi. lpas tu cekgu ajaq laaa. tp kalo cekgu ckp hang bantai p la nyanyi asalkan nyanyi. x de nye nk jd siti nurhaliza on the dot. even after asking for help, i still didnt know how to settle things. wut i get u juz do it, then u'll ask for anything. how shall i do this? read it? yupe. yah ive read i so wut? wut shud i dig from this? everything. wut is everything?  this n this. oke so how shall i get to this and this? erm it depends. wut is it depends on? factor a or b. where did this a n b comes from? up to u. huh? ur own call. wut if i called it wrongly? then u will go n correct it but try not to do so. how shud i call it correctly? u'll learn it by time. thats it. lama2 nnt oke la. BERAPA LAMA LGI? smpai dah kna cop lembab. blaja tinggi melayut x dak guna katanya.

bengap sgt agak nya. budak ni bengap nk mampos. be it. dah bengap nk buat cemana. ty pon bengap jugak. x ty lagi bengap. so bengap la selamanya.nk kena jd kurang ajar jugak kot baru nk boleh.

oke bye.

deh-leer-ee-uhm

Hey there! :D It has been quite some time since i hv given maself a thought. given with only 24 hours per day, i wish for more. all of us do wish for the same, don't we? looking for an opportunity to upgrade urself ain't easy. the 24 hours allocation between relationships, jobs, families and allthecrazeyhblowingmymind stuffs is a jumble mumble. one of my concern today is how far can i reach within these 5 years, well i shall cut that to 4 years as 2012 is ending soon, should i? i always have dream of having a lovely family of my own ehem a doctorate once i reach 30. 


Albeit of wutever had passed by the last 6 months, i still cant decide on my research's title. How i wish it is as easy as writing my MBA's thesis 2 years ago. To actually come out with a title for one phD paper requires tons of head scratches. Blerghh. I might be bold by the end of this. Let juz say dat i hv all the ideas yet im still stuck on which area to choose. Kne betapa kot bru nk nmpk cahaya2. Heh. nvm when the time comes i'll be fine. *hopefully* 


Oke zati, cut the crap. Stay positive n treat every moment as a learning process. Nothing to lose. Try to love wut u r doin everyday n embrace it bit by bit. *fuuuhhh! Gambarimasu!*


P/s : Ramadhan is truly a bless. Dear Allah, i need all the guidance from U. From u n to u, i'll return. ;)

Heh juz to be by ur side helps to revive everything. 

Women n hormones.

 Pffft.