Akemashite omedetou!

Yupe! Its officially 2012! Despite of all the high ups and low downs of 2011, I've grown up so much in term of resistant towards hardships. This is juz a part of the hardship that may come in the near future. I definitely will not have a slight idea on how to deal w all of it, but I know I'll get through w it sumhow. Resolution of 2012- screw resolution, I juz want everything in it's place.perfectly!!

2o11 was wrapped up at a place where lots of memories were made. Pd. Bagan. N yes Langkawi. As I step on the langkawi jetty, it did felt as if I was back home. Nothing much have change. I took a pledge on the island. To forgone 2o11. N I did! But once I came back here, Everything were restored back to it's own slot of memory. I guess it won't go nowhere. *sigh* I wanna stay there. Jauh dr orng. Laut. Pantai. Matahari. Back to basic :)

Another year is coming.

Yes. As per the entry's title, in 3days time we'll put a step on 2012. 2011 was a mess. A HUGE mess. Be it on life, jobs, goals, dreams, etc. It was full of memories that were painstakingly hurtful yet sugar coated well with a fake smile. I wasted a year. 2011. I didn't grow. I didn't move a bit. I didn't make a step. it was a year where I wish I cud erase from my memory. oh boy, i wish i cud. I did everything. I achieved wut I wanted yet it was empty n I needed more. Manusia. Xpernah puas. *gelakkan diri seniri* i covered almost all of my things- i- swear- i- wont-b-able-to-do list, the sense of accomplishment was juz in a blink of an eye. the next thing i know, im back to square me.

positive happenings did happen in 2011. eg:

1)i was the happiest a couple of months in early 2011.

2)1st job yg x mcm job sgt

3) increment secare tibe2

4) awesome new adek beradeks :) syg korng!

5) i graduated w flying colours! officially can call myself a MBA graduates.

6) i get through mecha scary obs. *mecha is a word which is used by japanese to describe a situation that is extremely extreme*

7) i learn LOTTTTS of things. sgt bnyk. from the basic of banking till the shouting-out-ur-throat to either hit the bid n offer side in Forex trading. which i never thought of learning about before.

8) i learn that shutting ur mouth wont move u a step. i.e marah je la kalo nak marah,

9) i met new frenz who defines perfectly how small a world really is.

10) i went to countless number of concerts. *dreams come true*

11) i sky track-ed *impossible me became possible*

12) wall- climbed *wut have i turned myself into?*

13) i managed to keep my own self exactly happy as the people in himym. *dun bother im addicted to this series of 5 bunch of people who cudnt let go of each other despite of everything that had happened between them. how lovely.*

14) oh at last, i can buy my own stuff sesuka haty. hahaha. :D

15) i purposely agreed w mak tam to get a hot bod like nicole sherzinger.

this long list can last forever. i did lot of things juz to keep myself bz n not thinking. in fact i dont think at all nowadays. i do what i want n i make sure i get what i want.

the negative happening: i dun really want to mention here. let juz say, this particular thing did taught me a LOT on my own attitude. i dun feel any pain at all when im w u, it was always a good memory to reminisces n im grateful for that. in a way i've become a better person now :)

apart from all the major happenings, im thankful for it but still, i seriously wish for 2010. A year where I won't forget every single thing in it. A year where major big steps were taken. I was out of my boundaries n I'm proud w who I am back then in that particular year. I hope that 2012 will be another 2010 for me. Where I was totally me. Not a gal who pretended to b what everybody else wants me to be. not sumone who is pathetic as i am at the moment. and yes definitely not sumone who can be pushed away sesuka haty. Aku kecik aty sgt dgn 2011. tu je. sbb xnk pertahankan wut is suppose to be tahan. i guess i must grow with it now. nak make it up sgt! but the damage has been done. Oyasuminasai.

Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

orange!

awwww. my so called kembaq couzin is engaged!

congratz sayang!!!

so as expected, as her e-day came to the end, pak lang made a joke about mine.

that next, is so gonna be the bank's manager turn i.e. my turn.

ikut haty, i wud love to reply, "pak lang, i need a new haty 1st. buy me a stone heart. i'll marry anybody at instant! kawen lelaju pon den sanggop. gittew"

but instead, i laughed at the joke and said, "ikut turn. x aci potong queue".

she was so gorgeous. happiness shone out of the both darah manis-es's faces.

as usual camwhores of the day, the main actress and the main actress :p

well, hope they'll have the best out of their lives. as for me, i'll be juz me.

there's a longg wayy to go. im old enuff but im not there yet.

let me pay back to my tangkai haty 1st before i start to screw my heart again.

which i dun think exist any longer.

Big big biiiiiiig smile

xD

Sumhow I'm back to me. n I hope dis will last forever. oyasuminasai seSYG.
Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

.bogoshippo.

oh wowww~~ wut a relaxing sundayyy. woke up almost noon. lepak dpn tv. out to gym teman mak tam. did groceries shopping.went back home. laid back w himym till the last epi of season 3.

so as usual, ive learnt another term. trust issue.

according to ted mosby:

"its okayh for u to hv a trust issue but hey its a no no if it leads u to find for a reasons for things to fall apart. deal w it. nobody is perfect"

huhuhuhu.

oh yeah i got another good one.

"revert to go":

when u unconsciously will revert back to who u r in the past whenever u r with sumone from that particular past!

interesting! i.e u are a different person now but when u meet ur high school mates, u shut ur mouth and pretend that u r a wall.

or u were so uncontrollably loud only when u r with ur SYGs!

dush! hamek kaw sedas! ouch betol! -.- makin sentap plak an makin da beribu episod tgk.

oke. cut that off. when i was tidying up my stuffs in my room, i found a letter. yes. the one that i wrote 8 months ago. that particular letter that i scribbled inside a tent, alone in a freakin dark jungle of lumut. yes baby, my solo camp letter. zzzzzzz. i knew wut i wrote dat nite. dat is y when i received the letter weeks ago, i dun hv any intention to open it, left it inside my drawer. coz i know it'll be another round of heartbroken once i open it up. all my dreams, my hopes, and my plans for the future is inside there! all the things that is sooo not gonna happen anymore. since apparently, i havent got any chance to make things work or to explain myself to make all the things that i wrote inside there to actually be possible! so yes dear solo camp letter, u r staying where u are now quietly till who knows when.

oh one more thing. these days, im able to go out whenever i want. compared to those days, when people will actually frown when they know that im from local, today im free as a bird. of course within a certain boundaries. those days, i wud normally says no to any invitation for an unplan hangout, but now when everything is a yes, no one is available. **Sigh**

i envy her the most coz she got everything in the world. TT.TT

im saying hi eh assalamualaikum to Islamic banking tomorrow onwards! gudluck zaty! n pls its just a job. to live is actually more important than anything else in the world *yess. im going crazy. no i am crazy* :)

mood: boring

lagu: yesung- it has to b u

platinum rule.

attraction, bargaining, submission, purks, tipping point, purgatory, fallout, and coexistence. these are the ninth steps of the platinum rule- never ever, ever ever love thy neighbour. -.-! this is a new thing. x ptt wujud. i mean at least we shud give it a try. well most people wud prolly ended up to the ninth step but hey there's pair who make it till the end. screw platinum im staying with the gold rule. **over dose how i met ur mother sgt! s3e11 :p **

ive heard so much of wut i didnt expected at all today. im so full of it as if i wanna puke all of them outta my brain. inspite of everything that ive been told today, i still cant find the answer. ntahla.suke2 aty je nak decide utk orng. give it a try 1st. jgn nak buat statement sgt! kalo nak usaha lah. ni baru jentik sikit dah terus angkat tgn, come on. u r better than that! who r u again? do i know u? i know work is important but have a life. seriously. we age! people age! makin tua bukan makin muda. so live it to the fullest. who knows if tomorrow ever come. speaking of work- i shud enjoy this forth weeks since its my forte. tp boleyh kn nak wat dek je? tawar aty sume bende.

so im sick for almost a week now. demam. baek. p meroyan tgok pitbull tgh2 hujan lebat. demam again. baik the next day. las menet plan w the girls tekinja2 tepekik melolong tgk donghae. now im back to mr fever. senang nye kan? antibodi dah xde. zzzzzzz malas pikir ape2. otak sy bukan utk fikir. lg fikir sume bende x wat. kalo fikir mesti x pegi MOA td. kalo fikir time rina meroyan text pg td msti bengong lg. kalo fikir mesti x jd seme bende. kalo fikir mesti x layan stage crew td mesti x dpt tpt beteduh time hujan. i had enuff! sbb fikir sy diam. sbb fikir sy x ckp pape. sbb fikir jgk sy bukan saye. sbb fikir jugak sy bengong lg. sbb fikir jugak sy lepas seme. so here's the thing. im turning over a new leaf on certain parts. my life. but not the heart obviously. let it stays where it wants atm :)

p/s: n my post recently cudnt be more unstructured. juz like me. im unstructured. i am.

mood: spontaneously spontaneous!