Swooshing butterflies!

Regardless of anything in the world, i juz love u n it never fades. I dun need gold, coz the time when im w u worth more than any gold in the world. yes the butterflies arent juz lurking around instead they are swooshing inside me. Coz u mean the entire world to me. Ai el yu.

<3

;D

living a life

haaaaaaaaaaaaaiiihhhh *mengeluh laagi*

x larat sgt. rasa mcm dah 60 thun. sumpah.

T.T

hai semangat sile kuat. 

leteyh rutin ni. mengeluh pon x bagoss. apa yg xckp lg pon xtaw.
sile bersyukur. hehehe. *a word to self*

pls life, do excites me! challenge me for i am ready for a new start.

nak bina hidop baruuuuu. everything from scratch boleh x? 

i want spices. i want sweet n sour. i dun want a tasteless life. 

i know im not that perfect. well nobody is perfect pon kan. but still im willing to change for a better me, for a better future. im trying to get a hold on everything today. be it my life, my job especially n my relationships. i have my own way of thinking n i have a good one. trying hard to be independent as i cud, n still trying, i,now today at this moment, am ready to take a new step further. coz i want to. i dun want to jinx dis but i am ready for it.  yes i am. n i do.

;) meow! Ya Allah semoga kau permudahkan segalanya. amin. 

i have never been so sure about dis in my life. but tonite i am. 

ai el yu

Vegetative state.

Woots!
N so its in the middle of june alredy. Time did flew faster than we tought aite? Laying on my bed tonite had made me wonder thru the whole life of mine. Wut is leading me to this state of vegetative? A state whereby kalo dlm bahasa sepital buat apa2 pon x boleh.

U see, i have been living my life w goals. Dlu masa sekolah2 hidup hari2 belaja untuk dpt A. Untuk bejaya. Smpai msk universiti belaja2 nk dpt 4 flat katenye. Walaopon x berapa nk berjaya tp at least i know what i shud do n i did my very best towards it. So now at the the age of suku abad niiiii i found out that i had wasted 2 years after my life as a student for nothing. Okayh kerja mmg untuk duwet. Tp duwet ni utk apaaa? Fine nk hidop tp hidop ni utk apa plak? Nk berjaya. Define berjaya pls. Xkn nk kerja je x kn hari2 mcm ni? Leteyh la x gerak apa pon x dpt. Nothing weyh nothing. Sbb tulah orng2 tua salu pesan buat apa yg kita suka not orng lain suka. Kalo kita suka bala apa dtg pon xpe. Sggop kuredahi jua. Aiceh. Tapi suka je pon x ckop kalo x gumbira. Kalo dlu wknd 2 hari rs mcm enuff tp skarang 2 thn pon rs x ckp. Dlu wknd x saba nk monday balik. Skarang cuti 2 thn x tepikir lgsg psl keja. Get wut i mean? Pdhal ni la yg di idami. I got wut i dreamt of but it doesnt come w happiness. Wlopon haty bunge2 tp physically longlaii.

No wonder adults sgt depress. Am i becoming one of those? Xnk kot! So here's the thing. I am so not gonna let myself stuck forever in this. I want a life where i cud enjoy every moment, i dun mind pressure pon coz once u r happy w ur work apa pon xpe. Bia lah gaji kecik biala kompeni kecik biala orng xpndg asalkan im happy w my life instead of kemurungan. Sapa2 pon bleh gila kot. Huhu. Okayh bye.

bouncy as a ball

Hye! *gedik x nk hye2* :p

Oke. I seriously need a boost! N i had 1 smlm w loves one. Nothing in this world can beat that. Im in a force field. Its so strong that im attrcted to none xcpt u. When i can be me n only myself wo letting anything to stop me. U define comfort. I dun need any make up to beautify me when u r around. *mcm niii* :p

n ive became more of myself day to day. 

Thanx Allah! For everything. ;D

now with everything in line. my major concern is my current earnings. how shud i say this? 

when it comes to a life decision making, i always find myself procrastinating on it. 

as it can be decided by itself.

my major problem today was bigger than which clothes shud i wear for my date today? *haha xpenah pon ada masalh ni- metafora oke?* what i love to do more- reading or writing? soalan ni je. nak jwb ni pon kena pikir panjang. i love both! tamak! i dun have guts for both! but i need to choose 1. when im stuck w reading like today, i wish i am writing atm. but i know if i were given a chance to actually writes, i'll face another side of problems. mana2 pon sama. credit jugak. so here's the thing. 

imma give it a try again. if dis seriously doesnt fit me. i'll move to write. 

Insya' Allah, everything will be fine. coz i always am. 

iloveubanyak! :p

Reaching out

Haih. Laju nye masa terbang kan? Jap je dah nk 2 thun abes belaja. Jap je nak 2 thun dah bekerja. Jap je dah tua lg 2 thun. Oke. Knapa nak mengeluh on dis matter kan? Bcoz time is flying faster than my self dvlpmnt. Aku mcm dok tegadah lagi, goyang kaki menonong lpas tu dah tua. Here's the thing.

My short term goal x achieve lgsg. Let see, nk menyimpan-x simpan pon. Nk ada dr by 30 n now im left w 5 years to go. Well as a human being yg stuck dlm zmn where intelligence r produced everywhere, im sort of left behind dah. N being sum one who always at her foot, im demotivated w that fact.

Tgk la skarang ni. When everyone else has a goal, im still huru hara. Apa pon tarak. I dun have a well paid income *oke yg ni xpe lah. Learning xpelah* n im still dat girl who cant walk like others. Im left behind. Waaaayyy behind.

Now when it comes to a once in a life time dcsion. I stuttered. I wanna go n see the world yet being me i dun hv the guts. Ni lah masalah dunia. Albeit everything that i have, im lack of guts.
Skarang saya akan menonong jugak. Doakan saya berani! Sayang nya nk tggl. Mampoo ke? Kuat x? Kalo x hermph jwbnye sy tgk upm lg la makne nye. ;p

Tekad. Titik.