be urself! :D

assalamualaikum and hello world! :*

so here's the thing, mama's word of wisdom that i will never forget. she once told me this when i 1st started working, that u shud not get over headed of urself regardless of wut. be good. be lovable.

dun forget those people who r below u for wo them u wont b where u r today. 

"i was told b4 that im one of the head who didnt care much to went out for lunch n hangout w clerks. 

these people work for u n u have to be good to them for all the work they had done. it is not wrong at all. the ceo personally wants me go back to the bank n i still get calls from the clerks mengadu n mntak tnjuk aja even after 3 years of retirement",- mama.

those words, came acroos my  mind today, when i attended raya open house for our comp's business banking division. big customers were invited. all the front people who liase w them were there.i was there w the kakaks2. reaching there, i went off to find kak liza for the hugs n kissies after such a long time. it was then when i realized that few people was starring at me as if i had done wrong. that when i figured out, i was hugging n touching one of the important person for the department, that i actually chit chatted w people from the mother of banks. same thing goes when the ceo came beside me n we sembang a bit, the abangs was looking at me like i had kill a person and he is the only one who knows bout it. nk ckp dgn ceo pegi la ckp, motif nk tenung2. for me, he is also a human being, bkn nya god nk kna worship smpai nk putih muka menggigil bila dea lalu sebelah je kot. 

it hit me straight away. how they had been seeing me b4? a girl who doesnt talks much, doesnt mingle around, except with the kakaks n they treat me like the kakaks? seriously? i dun get this at all. stop judging!. doesnt mean that i dont talk much at the offce that outside i will never get to know this people. ada orng tu x seberapa pon tp sbb dea hangout dgn the so call famous person that the whole bank pon kenal, she got famous as well. for my case, my circle of person was the kakaks, so i was treated like the kakaks. x seda ke awk tu pangkat dgn saya sama je. nak buat mcm awk tu the owner of the bank. jgn nak buat ayat dea tu manager mcm mana awk knal? hoi kurang aja sgt. for the sake of learning i pretended that i know nothing coz i dont mind starting from a scratch. kakaks ni yg willing to teach not d belagak pandai. jgn nk besa kepala sgt! i choose who i wanna be with. but that doesnt allow me to judge others. same goes to everyone. muka cantek pkai hensem2 dah tapi? nvm juz be urself n try to be the best out of it. coz im still trying. letih la. orng busuk haty ni smpai bila x sng tgk orng. so yeah be urself n have the fun out of it. 

bye.

Sayang. ;D

Hello people who actually reads this. Hehe. :) eid is coming soon. Its so amazing how fast time flies. When i was juz having a hard time to actually get off the most comfortable bed on earth in my house for sahur, we only left a week to make full use of Ramadhan.

This year, unlike yesteryear, im sort of looking forward for eid. Not that i-cant-wait-to-put-up-my-all-brand-new-raya-apparel sort of excitement. Its the excitement to actually laaaaaay down like nobody else's business and to be there with my love ones after such a long time. Even though im here everyday w my tangkai haty, the jolly celebration is sumthing that i certainly cant wait. I wanna peloks everyone especially those lil kiddies n kiss em smpai sume muntah darah. U see, how my hormones are getting older too? Dlu tgk budak2 mcm mampoih p kt hang la, now rs mcm nk pgg xnk lpas2. -.-!

Nevertheless of everything, dis ramadhan definitely was a better one than last year. I was shattered to pieces yet today im back to myself. Hai la haty. Didnt notice it at all, until a gf whispered to me during our last iftar at kgpa that i looked more radiant n glowy from the last time we met. Beseri2 sgt apahal. Haha gune la clinique! Kompem cantik! ;p

Im blessed for having these people around. N i wont ask for more. They know me in and out. My loud n my silent side. Alhamdulillah for everything.
:) Growing old is mandatory. I wanna have a memorable n lovely lane of it.

Yes this raya im gonna miss u super hard! ;p

throwing tantrums

so as i predicted. the judging has been done. the criminal was charged guilty by the court. pffft. like seriously?? ive been blaming myself since forever! its the matter of being a respectful employee, trying hard to get the aura of the work place, to get a hold wut is goin on everywhere, not to annoyingly budging in, everything!!

this negative pressuring challenges is not good. not at all. yet ive endured everything silently. now being the usual heartless individual, nothing is acceptable to their eyes. as a noob, u shall act as a noob. dun try to stir things up. learn it the hard way. u, urself shall dig everything using wutever tools that u have. wut if u werent given any tools to start w? well u shall ask for it. as simple as that. blergh. its a fact that people will stop asking once they didnt get wut they want. 18x ty jwpn pon sama. u wont ask again for the 19th time.

my guards are down. people are getting so full of themselves. only they saw the fact which are contributing to their profits. for the past 25 years of living i havent learn a way to learn things wo guidance. every single thing shud have a proper way of doing it. nak jd artis kna p blaja vokal. kne p ty kt cekgu cemana nk nyanyi. lpas tu cekgu ajaq laaa. tp kalo cekgu ckp hang bantai p la nyanyi asalkan nyanyi. x de nye nk jd siti nurhaliza on the dot. even after asking for help, i still didnt know how to settle things. wut i get u juz do it, then u'll ask for anything. how shall i do this? read it? yupe. yah ive read i so wut? wut shud i dig from this? everything. wut is everything?  this n this. oke so how shall i get to this and this? erm it depends. wut is it depends on? factor a or b. where did this a n b comes from? up to u. huh? ur own call. wut if i called it wrongly? then u will go n correct it but try not to do so. how shud i call it correctly? u'll learn it by time. thats it. lama2 nnt oke la. BERAPA LAMA LGI? smpai dah kna cop lembab. blaja tinggi melayut x dak guna katanya.

bengap sgt agak nya. budak ni bengap nk mampos. be it. dah bengap nk buat cemana. ty pon bengap jugak. x ty lagi bengap. so bengap la selamanya.nk kena jd kurang ajar jugak kot baru nk boleh.

oke bye.

deh-leer-ee-uhm

Hey there! :D It has been quite some time since i hv given maself a thought. given with only 24 hours per day, i wish for more. all of us do wish for the same, don't we? looking for an opportunity to upgrade urself ain't easy. the 24 hours allocation between relationships, jobs, families and allthecrazeyhblowingmymind stuffs is a jumble mumble. one of my concern today is how far can i reach within these 5 years, well i shall cut that to 4 years as 2012 is ending soon, should i? i always have dream of having a lovely family of my own ehem a doctorate once i reach 30. 


Albeit of wutever had passed by the last 6 months, i still cant decide on my research's title. How i wish it is as easy as writing my MBA's thesis 2 years ago. To actually come out with a title for one phD paper requires tons of head scratches. Blerghh. I might be bold by the end of this. Let juz say dat i hv all the ideas yet im still stuck on which area to choose. Kne betapa kot bru nk nmpk cahaya2. Heh. nvm when the time comes i'll be fine. *hopefully* 


Oke zati, cut the crap. Stay positive n treat every moment as a learning process. Nothing to lose. Try to love wut u r doin everyday n embrace it bit by bit. *fuuuhhh! Gambarimasu!*


P/s : Ramadhan is truly a bless. Dear Allah, i need all the guidance from U. From u n to u, i'll return. ;)

Heh juz to be by ur side helps to revive everything. 

Women n hormones.

 Pffft.

Swooshing butterflies!

Regardless of anything in the world, i juz love u n it never fades. I dun need gold, coz the time when im w u worth more than any gold in the world. yes the butterflies arent juz lurking around instead they are swooshing inside me. Coz u mean the entire world to me. Ai el yu.

<3

;D

living a life

haaaaaaaaaaaaaiiihhhh *mengeluh laagi*

x larat sgt. rasa mcm dah 60 thun. sumpah.

T.T

hai semangat sile kuat. 

leteyh rutin ni. mengeluh pon x bagoss. apa yg xckp lg pon xtaw.
sile bersyukur. hehehe. *a word to self*

pls life, do excites me! challenge me for i am ready for a new start.

nak bina hidop baruuuuu. everything from scratch boleh x? 

i want spices. i want sweet n sour. i dun want a tasteless life. 

i know im not that perfect. well nobody is perfect pon kan. but still im willing to change for a better me, for a better future. im trying to get a hold on everything today. be it my life, my job especially n my relationships. i have my own way of thinking n i have a good one. trying hard to be independent as i cud, n still trying, i,now today at this moment, am ready to take a new step further. coz i want to. i dun want to jinx dis but i am ready for it.  yes i am. n i do.

;) meow! Ya Allah semoga kau permudahkan segalanya. amin. 

i have never been so sure about dis in my life. but tonite i am. 

ai el yu

Vegetative state.

Woots!
N so its in the middle of june alredy. Time did flew faster than we tought aite? Laying on my bed tonite had made me wonder thru the whole life of mine. Wut is leading me to this state of vegetative? A state whereby kalo dlm bahasa sepital buat apa2 pon x boleh.

U see, i have been living my life w goals. Dlu masa sekolah2 hidup hari2 belaja untuk dpt A. Untuk bejaya. Smpai msk universiti belaja2 nk dpt 4 flat katenye. Walaopon x berapa nk berjaya tp at least i know what i shud do n i did my very best towards it. So now at the the age of suku abad niiiii i found out that i had wasted 2 years after my life as a student for nothing. Okayh kerja mmg untuk duwet. Tp duwet ni utk apaaa? Fine nk hidop tp hidop ni utk apa plak? Nk berjaya. Define berjaya pls. Xkn nk kerja je x kn hari2 mcm ni? Leteyh la x gerak apa pon x dpt. Nothing weyh nothing. Sbb tulah orng2 tua salu pesan buat apa yg kita suka not orng lain suka. Kalo kita suka bala apa dtg pon xpe. Sggop kuredahi jua. Aiceh. Tapi suka je pon x ckop kalo x gumbira. Kalo dlu wknd 2 hari rs mcm enuff tp skarang 2 thn pon rs x ckp. Dlu wknd x saba nk monday balik. Skarang cuti 2 thn x tepikir lgsg psl keja. Get wut i mean? Pdhal ni la yg di idami. I got wut i dreamt of but it doesnt come w happiness. Wlopon haty bunge2 tp physically longlaii.

No wonder adults sgt depress. Am i becoming one of those? Xnk kot! So here's the thing. I am so not gonna let myself stuck forever in this. I want a life where i cud enjoy every moment, i dun mind pressure pon coz once u r happy w ur work apa pon xpe. Bia lah gaji kecik biala kompeni kecik biala orng xpndg asalkan im happy w my life instead of kemurungan. Sapa2 pon bleh gila kot. Huhu. Okayh bye.

bouncy as a ball

Hye! *gedik x nk hye2* :p

Oke. I seriously need a boost! N i had 1 smlm w loves one. Nothing in this world can beat that. Im in a force field. Its so strong that im attrcted to none xcpt u. When i can be me n only myself wo letting anything to stop me. U define comfort. I dun need any make up to beautify me when u r around. *mcm niii* :p

n ive became more of myself day to day. 

Thanx Allah! For everything. ;D

now with everything in line. my major concern is my current earnings. how shud i say this? 

when it comes to a life decision making, i always find myself procrastinating on it. 

as it can be decided by itself.

my major problem today was bigger than which clothes shud i wear for my date today? *haha xpenah pon ada masalh ni- metafora oke?* what i love to do more- reading or writing? soalan ni je. nak jwb ni pon kena pikir panjang. i love both! tamak! i dun have guts for both! but i need to choose 1. when im stuck w reading like today, i wish i am writing atm. but i know if i were given a chance to actually writes, i'll face another side of problems. mana2 pon sama. credit jugak. so here's the thing. 

imma give it a try again. if dis seriously doesnt fit me. i'll move to write. 

Insya' Allah, everything will be fine. coz i always am. 

iloveubanyak! :p

Reaching out

Haih. Laju nye masa terbang kan? Jap je dah nk 2 thun abes belaja. Jap je nak 2 thun dah bekerja. Jap je dah tua lg 2 thun. Oke. Knapa nak mengeluh on dis matter kan? Bcoz time is flying faster than my self dvlpmnt. Aku mcm dok tegadah lagi, goyang kaki menonong lpas tu dah tua. Here's the thing.

My short term goal x achieve lgsg. Let see, nk menyimpan-x simpan pon. Nk ada dr by 30 n now im left w 5 years to go. Well as a human being yg stuck dlm zmn where intelligence r produced everywhere, im sort of left behind dah. N being sum one who always at her foot, im demotivated w that fact.

Tgk la skarang ni. When everyone else has a goal, im still huru hara. Apa pon tarak. I dun have a well paid income *oke yg ni xpe lah. Learning xpelah* n im still dat girl who cant walk like others. Im left behind. Waaaayyy behind.

Now when it comes to a once in a life time dcsion. I stuttered. I wanna go n see the world yet being me i dun hv the guts. Ni lah masalah dunia. Albeit everything that i have, im lack of guts.
Skarang saya akan menonong jugak. Doakan saya berani! Sayang nya nk tggl. Mampoo ke? Kuat x? Kalo x hermph jwbnye sy tgk upm lg la makne nye. ;p

Tekad. Titik.

im into u :p

sumpah aku boringg gila kalo kna keje mcm ni tiap hari.

kepala otak gua pon bleh dpt asthma jugak. semput smpai meletop.

:p  

woohoooo! oke mcm da lama sgt x tetaip. life is amazing lately. yeah despite of all the drama in the offce, everything else is perfect. as wut i'd mention b4, girls w emotional stability wont ask 4 more. 1 benda ni je jg. coz we are created emotionally attached. =D nuff said. dtg la malapetaka tjuh petala langit pon, there will always be a way. hehehe. 


my fb tiba2 ada klua feed from one of my hero kesukaan- zulhuzaimy. so he quoted this, n i quoted him here. the saying goes:

Hari ini dia mungkin seorang yang kaki mencarut, esok lusa mungkin dia adalah yang paling LEMBUT bicaranya... 

Hari ini dia mungkin seorang yang ingkar kepada Allah SWT, esok lusa mungkin dia adalah yang paling istiqomah melaksanakan QIYAMULLAIL kala kita semua sedang lena... 

Kita tidak pernah tahu dan tidak akan tahu. Tugas kita bukan me'neraka'kan orang. Tetapi...mengajak manusia ke jalanNYA dan saling doa mendoakan.... 

Jangan HINA permulaan seseorang..kerana kita TIDAK tahu bagaimana pengakhiran nya..

dunia skarang ni mcm2 anasir. kadang2 tu kita rasa kita x kacaw orng tp kdg2 tu apa yg kita buat secebis pon leyh buat orng benci. tp kan, as wut stated above, its not our right to judge. let say for example, a drunk men came out of a bar n dlm x seda tu he randomly ask u to be careful. dlm haty msti tedetik, kau pon jln senget2 nk suh aku elok2. ptt x? hermm ape kate instead of mcm tu kite berigt la to be careful. at least we r not prone to unwanted incident as he is. apa kata sblom ckp eh dea dulu pon x betol, lintang pukang, nak aja2 gua plak! apa kata kite ckp alhamdulilllah moga2 dea kekal n berubah lg baik, n moga2 aku pon boleh jd mcm tu. stop judging. x smstinya kita x boleh dgr ckp2 orng ni. as long as it is not against the law, agama, y not kan? mungkin dea ada ilmu wlpon dea x gna x amalkan tp x salah ilmu tu dea kongsi. its not our right to judge. tu hal dea dgn Allah.elok2 orng nak berubah kite doa kan. yg xde tebukak pintu haty tu kite doakan jugak. not only for them but to ourselves especially.  bagos2 kita, ada yg lg bagos. ilmu dlm dada x kn pernah ckop. jd jgn lah bajet bagos sgt. ni aku tulis entri mcm ni kompem yg dok baca ni ada la dlm haty tu yg nk kata, hek ele pempuan ni, kaw pon x betol nk nasihat org. wait seminit, here's the thing. this is not a nasihat for u instead its a reminder for myself. entri ni utk saya. bcoz i know im not that perfect. coz when people did judge u for wut u r potraying, for the way u dress, for u being urself thats when u know u shudnt be doing the same to another living organism. jom positive2 je. 

=D 

yes i cant love anybody else like i love u. stay if u do the same too. 

sayonara.

1st love

'Izzati, jgn nak seronok sgt. Karang kalo termenangis lg ade yg betol2 pegi London! 1st love- sume colourful tp love yg same jgk boleh bunoh orng kalo terbeterabur pecah. Nonononono xnk tu lagi! Xsggop. Fuuhhh. Oke. Bye

Hati batu.

No matter what gets in the way. Wut urs is urs. Kan! Kalo da rezeki ade la. Kalo dah jodoh ade la. Hidop ni makin lama makin betambah umo. Human age! We age too fast to mingle around silly stuffs i.e broken hearted.

Ni lah dea. Pempuan. Here goes nothng. If he is caught by others, he shudnt be urs at the 1st place pon. He shudnt get attractd at the 1st place.ya yah time wasted. 4 5 thn tgu, ape la sgt 4 5 thn compare to 6thun? Betol x? At least x bnyk sgt masa terbazir. How shud i rephrase this, tke evrythg as a lesson in life. Yg baik kite canang yg burok simpan sndiri. Move on. The bar will be set higher next tme.

A woman needs a man beside her. N so does a man. Thats how we are created. To patch any holes in each other. But to be able to stand alone is wut matters. Mati esok ni x dak sapa2 taw x? We will be bury separately. Judge separately. At the end we r on our own. So pls. Jd kebal. At least on the outside.

Let it flows. Qada' qadar xdak sapa bleyh lawan. Live wutever u r living today at ur best.

Aitai yo!

Heyya world. :)
Lately, everything was going on super fine. Alhamdulillah. Hopefully this will last forever. Im in a good mood or shall i say jubilantly over the moon sort of happiness. Imma cherish each moment these days. For being lovely and for knowing how to switch me on, kamsahamnida! <3

dreams

herm. skali lagi rasa mcm nak mencenconteng dlm nii.

haty ganas gua sayu jap. tiba2 rindoo kat laki gua kat nippon.

tu lah kan gatal! gatal sgt kaki melangkah bukak pintu bilik dea.

gatal jugak bontot nak baring2 atas katil dea. lagi gatal jugak nk bukak blog seniri.

maka terdengarlah lagu davichi t-ara yg sayu mendayu tuu.

affuhhhh. fuhhhh.

*lap2 ayaq mata- ckp ganas xboleyh nangis smbil mutekan volume*

duduk2 dlm nih terigt pesan abah. "dah elok sgt nii. pegi dlu. few months later abah hantar dayah to ur place". tp bile dah teperuk mcm niiii, i dun think i can make it. x ckop kuat. eh silap belom ckop ganas. macam2 hajat x tecapai lagi.

masa. yupe. bia la mase decide sume. bile haty dah ckp kuat nk tgglkan sume mungkin mase tu seru pon da smpai. insya' Allah satu masa akan dpt jugak. saba banyak. pelan2 kayuh. panjang umur ade rezeki ade lah peluang.

pikir2 balik kan. kata orng nk seribu daya xnk bnyk la dalih. yelah hakikatnye kat sni. entry ni cume nk sdpkan haty gua je. hahaha.

dalih yg gua coretkan kt sni semata2 nak tolak tepi impian yg satu tu demi mase depan. alrite cut it off.

ckp psl dreams mmg x kan habes. yg x tercapaaaaai sgt bnyk . ikut napsu trex ni, hurmph!

1) istana nk beradu

2) emas permata. xmaw duit sgt.

3) porche panamera. tp kalaw dpt audi pon sedap jugak la

4) qualifications. taw x icc tu kena amik? lpas tu mana time nk kejar phd lg. ohyeah ccp lg! :0 sapa suh kaw amik credit? benti keja dah xyah amik suma. sng!

5) duit juta2- kalo x dak ni, mmg sakit jantung la bakal laki gua nak bayau sume dlm list ni.

6) nak honeymon bnyk kali! skali x ckop! eh? :p tu maldives da lambai2. switzerland lagi. seoul pon. hah. satu globe lah! ;p

7) tu lah da ckp, list ni mmg x kan habes smpai bila2 kan?

oyeah nk selit satu statement. gua bkn la manja sgt. tah nape da habes ganas dah rasa ni. loqlaq xyah ckp lah. still nk ckp aku budak manja pahal! sat2. kalo manja yg suma benda petik jari tu mmg x la kan. *manja la nih ni nak tulis dlm ni.* ko da pehal zati -.-!

oke la gua x ganas mana pon. kite manje lah!

tp kn bile dgn awk je! nah! pengakuan berani maty!

rase nk muntah darah x? huahaha! ok bye.

transformation! :)

hye. xde idea. tp nk hapdet jugak.

penah dgaq x orng ckp, wrong doings are wut makes us a better person.

gua setuju! baideway, ni sbb td mcm ternampak gamba lolitta. cosplayers dkt fb.

terigt zmn kecik2 zati othman.

dulu, mane de org nak hype psl cosplay ni.

sapa suka cosplay, kompem kena cop freak!

zaman dulu nak emo je!

igt lagi, dkt matrik, kalo awek2 lain jalan2 pusing kolej time, main volleyball netball bagai, zati ddk maen skate dgn budak praktikum. malam2 orng buat homework, siapkan tutorial, zati dgn nyah2 sekalian boleh men gitar dkt padang dgn budak2 band yg siang td main skate same2.

lpas tu esok pegi kelas tiru jwpn orng lain. tp maths x pulak. -.-! sggop x tido nk buat tuto maths.

lpas tu weekend jln2 dkt time square, dress up mcm baru lpas kluar dr longkang.

tp dgn selamba jalan smbil kibas2 rambut rasa hot sgt bila org usha.

oyeah. fashion x leh blah bile dlm shopping cmplex nk pkai shades. panass kot ade matahari dlm mall. so hott! smbil bukak payung hitam ala2 nightmare b4 christmas.

skarang. da tuo. bile pikir balik. im thankful to that zati othman.

for rebelling like that. she's out of her box. bia la fail ke jahanam ke. besyukur sgt.

as knowing all of it had turned her into a better person.

oke dah. i is letting le picture to do the talking now:

hahaha. this is the worst.

but i treasured the memories that were made during this period sgt!

gamba niii. omg. nk mkn lollipop tu sayang sgt. kena la tgkp gambaq dulu kot.

hahaha. legendary sungguh laaaaaa.

hahahaha. speechless kot tgok yg ni. jap2. nk pegi pengsan 2 saat dulu.

pic birthday 3 thun lpas. muka mcm nk mntk lempang. -.-

biological clocks da strikes. oke tipoo. not the biological clock, tp haty ganas gua da terstrike! :p

perempuann sgt! haha

n bile da mcm kne tembak tuu trus jd mcm nii.

*pelik.it was against my odd. ive promised myself not to go for a straight hair but i guess a broken hearted wont listen to anybody even to her own self.*

patah seribu. rasa bukan penyet kan rambut tp iron jantung smpai nipis.

and wait for it...

...

..

.

sgt x penah tepikir akan cantas sependek ni.

cube riangkan haty. tp da riaang sgt niii. :p

she cudnt care less of anything nowadays.

sekarang every single thing nak record. no waay im not letting go agaainn!

syg banyak!! :p

betoi la orng ckp. bila haty bekecai, hambun la segunung emas permata pon, msti kosongg jgk. tp bila haty tgh tekinja2, bak la dtg masalah dunia skali pon, xde perasaan pon nak layan. oleh itu bak la dtg CAMS ribu2 smpai xmuat meja lagi, gua boleh hadap lah! amboiii overr sgt! :p kesimpulannya, yes! haty bukan terkinja lg dah tp dah kembang kepuk2.

sayonara!

sayonara! ;)

sobs. da lupa rasa menangis mcm orng mati laki. da lupa.

tp semalam -.-! dpn orng rmai tanpa segan siluuu.

teresak2 mcm budak kechik kena luku.

T.T hish. last2 bejangkit kt semua.

*ah hilang macho gua beberapa saat*

haih. ganbatte ne ototou-san! bring that master degree back!

n have a great exp there!

we'll be missing you 24/7!

its gonna b hard for a while but u'll b fine for sure.

ki o tsukete!

daicuki!

gamba ni skali pandang mcm fangirl jupa artis korea :p

oh baideway, crispy crepe yg kt gsc ou ni sdp lah.

tp jgn overdose okayh! manes sgt! nnt saket gigi! ;D

gomennasai 4 dis gamba curik x sempat pose.

siyes x lapaq pon masa ni tp muka xmenggambarkan lgsg isi haty perot gua

y u no make pwetty2 face?

=..=

*::*lets make the best outta life ne?*::*

Perfectionist

Rants n rants. Life can not be sulkier than dis. When everything was on the right path, things turn out bad. Hujan rupenye d pagi hari. Xpayah tggu petng. Or shud i say xpernah nk panas pon. Pelangi maloo sgt nk keluar.

Its within me. I know it well. It always has been that way ever since who knows when. People may look at me like im a Yang. But the truth is atm im a kepner. Im lil grey when it comes to work but definitely im not a Yang. To be a Yang i need guts. Oke now I'm talking grey's anatomy'S language.

Who on earth doesn't wanna be a Yang. Cold heartedly awesome and fun yet DARE to take a risk in everything! She got brain, she kick asses n she got owen hunt on her side. Who cares if she's harsh? She owns it! So yes. Lets own everything like a Yang!

Oh ya! Speaking of the dramas, few weeks ago, i twitted on how i wud like to keep ted mosby at home. When suddenly a fren replied- 'really? He's a perfectionist. Ur type ke?' hahaha nahhh. Mosby, owen, shepherd and these men below, their character provides comfort sumhow. They know how to take cntrol, how to shut a women's mouth but at the same time doesn't kills butterflies in them. Bukan menonong ikt ckp pempuan. These are men. N this type da extinct kot. Looking at these picture of my fav character, nk tegelak. Satu pattern. Senyum je bile tgk. N thats another reason y i chose u. Erk. Mcm lari je. Eh. Sayonara la.

ur my cuppycake gum drop!

ayat renungan harini:

"thy shall not have an element of forces in thy relationship, for any force will dissatisfies all"

hahah oke x payah nak shakespeare kat cni

in any relationship xbole la na pepakse nnt sume jd x ikhlas.

betoll taaaaaaaakkk? mestilah betol

*ty sniri jwb sniri x ke naya kalo ade orng jwb kat cni kang =.=*

kite suke x orng pakse kite? x pon. jd kite jgn la wat cmtu kt orng.

sile la paham situasi masing2.

ni bkn utk laki bini boifren gofren je tp sumee relationship taw?

kawan. siblings. dgn orng asing pon k?

xke best kalo dgn kerelaan hati nye sesuatu perbuatan tu.

nk lepak pon kne sincere. kalo lepak x rela kne pakse mmg la lpas tu potongg mood sume.

baik ddk umah jgn menyemak.

lg satu cntoh, nk telefon kalo kne pakse msti nk ckp jerit suare nk x nk je kan?

best ke ckp tepon cmtu? haih.

moral jgn buat kalo x ikhlass. end up menyusahkan sume orng.

contoh hasil keikhlasan haty: cupcake melimpah yg super comel ni w/pon rase err mcm -.-!

tp mengenyangkan perutt n hilangkan kempunan kot? ;p

jom comotkan jari! itadakimasu!

when the imperfections of us makes perfection!

i wont ask for more.

:)

gule2 masam!

this is so sweet.

*even though muke josh ramsay ni mcm mintak penampa kan*

damn he sounds so ohsem. layan smbil ttp mate

Sour Candy, endings...Coffee stained, but awareoh I'm so tangled up in myBig sunglasses and, bed hungrySecond day fair

No we went underThe weight was too much to carry andI felt the thunderMr. Don't look so scaredI never knew, I never knewThat I could be so sadWe went under

I've been very cautiousTrying numbness, instead of painYour humor makes me, makes me nauseouswhat a twisted, twisted, twisted game.

No we went underThe weight was too much to carry inI felt the thunderMr. Don't Look So ScaredI never knew, I never knewThat I could be so sad we went under

Oh get yourself homeYou leave him aloneOn second thoughtI regret the pink stilettooh, oh

Sour Candy.. endings..And I was barely even there.

No we went under,The weight was too much to carry inI felt the thunder,Mr. Don't look so scaredI never knew I never knewThat I could be so sad... so sad... so sad.. so sad..So sad...We went under

ouch. lirik nk sakit je.

gua pon sakit jugakk

sakit otak

sakit pankreas sbb kerja

sakit duodenum mcm ade rama2 bile da dpt tpt keje

sakit medula oblongata bile kehidupan dah asek keje je

pintu haty tutup. keje mcm robot.

setinggi2 menara opis gua tu xde plak catalyst bg gua loncat2

yg ade muke straight mcm pembaris

lepas tu muka gua pon da jd pembaris besi.

mood: nk laari pegi main jauh2

sumpah. my feeling is still the same.

it has been u all this while.

time doesnt know how to heal

when living in a dream is whats keeps me goin.

alahai. gula2 masam boleh x jd manis smpai saket gigi?

i, i love u 4eva, 4eva n always.

one fine day. juz like the usual days, the sun was shining so brightly. a guy and a girl walk side by side like they usually did. the breeze was so calming that they cudnt stop smiling towards each other. they stopped and lied down under an orange maple tree. in between those maple leaf, the sun rays was racing to get through. hands were locked. he looked at her in the eyes.

she smiled at him. blushed. and looked again at the cloud. she loves him so much that he was the only one she sees under the tree. they havent seen each other for quite sum time. she was thrilled to see him. how she miss him in every single second of her life. he pulls her head to his shoulder. she took a breather in. "oh, this is my tranquillity", resting against him.

then she looked at him. noticed that his mouth was moving. wondering what was he talking about. he's updating her on his daily life. sort of reporting everything to her. his working life to his home. evrything. n she did the same afterwards. they were enjoying the precious time together as if no one was there.

when the sunset was eager to come out, they were already at the back seat of a black car on their way back home. his mobile rang to a mushy korean tone. she lol-ed at the fact he was such a man. with one hand he replied to the text, while the other hand was still holding onto her.

girl: "who's that?"

boy: "juz sumone that i intent to go out with".

girl:*hesitated*

boy: "a fren of mine, he introduced me to his fren few months ago. n sumhow we get along well. n i kinda like this girl. u know, since us, never had i thought of any girl. when we were apart, i nvr think of it but now i wanna gv it a try again. u know, we were good. in fact i never loved anyone as much as i had loved u. u r the only girl that i can get along like this even after everything that had happened between us. but u do know that us is not gonna work any more right?

girl: *hesitated with watering eyes*

*mobile rings again. *

boy: hello syg, im on my way. naaah, im with u know who. bla bla bla bla.

girl: *inhale n rase mcm nk mati on the spot*

____________________________________________________________

*my iphone's alarm rang to bigbang's tonight tone, i hit the snooze button*

sobbed. glad it was juz a dream. f*** that was so real.

wut if it is real? n wut if mmg btol2 jd? hah padan muka! tu je laaa.

damn that was so freaaaking real. i jumped outta my bed prepared to go out to meet fstepian sume. n that dream seems like an old film reel of tape which doesnt know how to stop playing in my head till now.

i dun wanna be her. seriously. let that just be a dream pls Ya Allah. :(